Sex toys are synonymous with the world of BDSM. They enliven our play sessions and offer endless avenues of pleasure and pain. For those who are new to BDSM, the amount of equipment on offer can be overwhelming at first, but they are vital to your enjoyment.
Taking the first step towards BDSM play can be a daunting one. The most common reason for people to not voice their sexual desires is a concern that their partner won’t understand their intentions. The worst fear of all is the fear of the unknown, so this reaction is absolutely understandable for both parties.
With so much terminology out there in the kink world, it can be difficult to determine exactly what you might want yourself labelled as. Although, I use the term ‘labelling’ loosely as such terms are not universally all-encompassing. In fact, such criteria exists solely as an indicator to your main preferences. Even standard terms like dominant or submissive can transcend multiple descriptions. There’s also the added confusion of many people enjoying several roles, not to mention that labels overlap characteristics quite often.
Ask anyone in the BDSM scene what BDSM is and they’ll tell you it’s a lifestyle. They’ll tell you it’s a way of satisfying those desires that live in the darkest recesses of your brain. It’s sexual gratification, it’s stress relief, it’s therapeutic role play, it’s exploring parts of your personality you didn’t know existed.
Online dating in the modern world is difficult enough already without the added inconvenience of informing your potential partners of your penchant for handcuffs and whips. For many, it is simply another hurdle to navigate on your journey to finding a sexual partner, a role playing buddy, or simply tonight’s single-serving stranger.
Fiction is one of the safest ways of exploring your penchant for BDSM sex. Whether it be through reading or writing, it can serve as an outlet for any desires you might have which you aren’t yet confident enough to act out in the real world, or simply as a way to experiment with ideas, kinks, and scenarios.
For this article I needed to consult a more experienced mind that my own. I personally haven’t been involved in many lesbian scenarios (maybe one or two, but we’ll come to that), but fortunately, I know someone who has.
On the surface, BDSM looks an irresponsible outlet for sexual pleasure. To the mainstream, it could appear that it is simply a playground to act out masochistic fantasies with no regard for other person’s wellbeing.